PronounciationBookConspiracy Wiki
How to Pronounce 34
Duration 2 min 22 sec
Published 21st Aug '13

How to Pronounce 34, or simply 34, is the title of a video uploaded to the Pronunciation Book channel on the 21st of August, 2013, and is the 44th video in the 77 Days Video Countdown.

Video details[]

34 lasts for 2 minutes and 22 seconds. For the first 2 minutes and 7 seconds, The Announcer makes the following speech (A.K.A. the 34 speech), after which there are 15 seconds of silence until the end:

"While I was waiting for her to come over one night, I made a list of objects that I've moved with my hands that day.
The first object I moved was the sheet that covered me in bed when I woke up.
The sixth object I moved was a box of baking soda that I left on the shelf in my bathroom to absorb odour. I moved the baking soda to the side so I could reach the seventh item I moved, an unopened box that contained the eighth item, a new tube of toothpaste.
The 85th item I moved was a jar that I dropped. I stopped writing the list at 85 and thought about the jar for a while instead.
The jar had been on my desk, filled with pens. The pens had fallen onto the tile floor. Chief heard the sound of pens falling and yelled, "why are pens falling?!" But this isn't about the pens, this is about the jar.
The jar sat on my desk but it contained pens for the entire office. In that sense, it was not my jar, although it had been once. The jar contained jam when I bought it from a vendor at the festival. I ate much of the jam the next morning in my hotel. I ate the remainder of the jam in the spring, except for a small portion that I washed out when I washed out the jar.
I used the jar as a vase to hold a few flowers; pale roses. She took photos of the flowers that I'd put in the jar that I'd later drop. She took to jar outside, and took photos of the jar, and the flowers that were in the jar. The jar held water and in the water stood roses. The water was temperate and the roses were pale. She took photos of the jar and I dropped a jar. She used pencils instead of pens and I dropped a jar.
The vice-chancellor sees the stars waving on his television and will never understand that they're not waving at him.
Something is going to happen ... in 34 days"



  • The list of things he had moved with his hands could possibly hint to him having some form of OCD.
  • It's possible the numbers listed in order seen/heard are a phone number, 341-678-8585/ 167-885-8534
  • If the number string from 34 is split in half (16788, 58534), and the two number strings produced can be used as decimal degree coordinates, which point to different locations on the Earth depending on the sign (+ or -16.788) and number of decimal places (e.g. 16.788 or 1.6788) used. The only three locations that are not situated in the middle of the ocean are: the Bolivian jungle; the Mauritanian desert; Niger desert. Given that none of these places are referenced in the Narrative, it is therefore unlikely that the numbers are meant to be taken as coordinates.
  • The gaps between the object numbers 1->6->7->8->85 are 5->1->1->77. The gap of 77 seems unlikely to be coincidental, and additionally the first three gaps add up to 7 (5+1+1). The video itself also adds up to 7 (3+4).
  • There seems to be a form/function dichotomy going on in this video (something that can also noticed in the others), specifically referring to how The Announcer & unnamed female make use of the jar: PB uses it for its intended purpose (holding things--function), whilst She makes a feature of it (photographing it--form). This may reflect the differences in both of their personalities & behaviour.

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