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The mission narrative, a.k.a. the mission, is a story told by the first phrases of each Pronunciation Book video from HtP Guacamole to HtP Nicole. The core narrative consists only of these introductory statements, though the A & B dialogue does sometimes seem relevant to the narrative.

The mission narrative takes its name from the plot of the story, which appears to centre around the mission of a small, dedicted, pseudomilitary group (a.k.a. the squad) in Nicaragua. The mission narrative consists of 88 videos in total can be considered a precursor (and tie-in) to the Countdown.

The Narrative[]

Below is the narrative as it appears when only the introductory statements are considered in the same order that their respective videos were uploaded (Guacamole—>Nicole). There are 9 different scenes within the narrative, and it has been sectioned up accordingly.


"Don't worry," I said, "guacamole is an acquired taste."

"I'm not worried," she said. "I'm just hungry."

She was wearing Salvatore Ferragamo in the jungle. I was still adjusting to the new biome myself. At first, it was difficult to coordinate with the guerillas. Her Spanish was good, so she became the liaison. I read Ptolemy under the southern stars. My boots are too formal for the jungle and too casual for the city. The work is painful; the adrenaline is an analgesic. Verizon was, and still is, a valued corporate partner. The banking team is surprisingly well-versed in metallurgy. I can't RSVP until I have a disguise.

The Catering Job

We arrived at the brasserie dressed as caterers. Her svelte figure caught the minister's eye, just as Chief predicted. Jackie was lucky no one picked up on his accent. She served pepperoncini with a tight smile as I photographed documents in the kitchen. The minister recoils from the gaudy Merlot pairing ... is our cover blown? We had no idea we were enabling the oogenesis of a new power. The gala was ruined by jealous love. We retreated to the jungle as fireworks lit the southern sky. It was the first of several times Jackie would blame things on Belarus. I lay in the hammock at base, dreaming of LA. We would resume our reconnaissance in the morning; for now, we tried to forget about the mission.


"This is all I was able to procure," she said, producing a bottle of Dom Pérignon.

Glyph sulked in his tent as the rest of us gathered for pinochle. Chief, who had posed as a waiter, said Lasso had been seated at the president's table. I finished the last of the now-warm champagne and said goodnight. She stumbled into my tent an hour later, surprisingly tipsy for a femme fatale. Eventually I yield to uneasy jungle dreams.

The Dream

A temple of finance two thousand feet above the mega-city. They each have a Sausage McMuffin around the corner; it's the only affordable meal in the Zone. The radio still works in the elevator, of course. A familiar feeling ... has he been in this building before? He's wearing his formal uniform: white shoes, red suit, blue radio. You can dress for success, but you can't have it all.


We awoke to the sound of Jackie strumming a mournful Latin melody on his guitar. I knew immediately that something was wrong. He seemed absent as we planned the route for the day's expedition. We would hike to the beach, stopping in town for a cerveza. Even in times of war we must occasionally enjoy a drink with friends.

"We are cursed with an impossible mission in hell," I said, taking the final slice of breakfast quiche.

"Excuse me," said Jackie. "I had planned to eat that."

"Okay," I said, "let's split it."

"Is nothing sacred?" said Jackie, struggling to get the words out.


Even in her bulky field gear she looked pretty hot. Friendship, money, love: these are difficult words for a regulator. I must have had some idea that we were doomed, but I was too young to care. Who can regulate the economics of passion? Back then, I only had two things to live for: her and the mission. We hiked without speaking, listening to the sounds of the jungle. In such an unfamiliar place, you lose track of what is real. I resolved to speak with Dr. Colorado as soon as I returned to LA.

The Fight

We saw three guerrillas approaching with unhappy faces. I hoped they wouldn't notice my American accent. They did not prepare me for this in school or on-the-job training. In moments of carnage it was clear that battle was fun for Jackie. I had a cyanide caramel in my pocket in case I was captured. Through the pain, I tried to recall happier times spent in Jubilee Tower on 2-for-1 Tuesdays. We tried to netride for help, but unsurprisingly, our router was down. When the assault became unbearable, Glyph used his aegis to shield our party. It was a welcome maneuver, albeit late. I myself had been prepared to use a powerful combat lien -- but only as a last resort.

The Ten Mysteries
Main article: Ten Mysteries

As we resumed our hike, I thought of ten mysteries.

First, who was the architect of our mission? Second, why did the Regulators' Office acquiesce to working with the banks? Third, why would a financier of Jackie's status choose to accompany us for field work? Fourth, what secret research led to our loci in Nicaragua? Fifth, what wasn't Chief telling me about the Tlaxcala office? Sixth, why had the minister sketched an ouroboros on his napkin last night? Seventh, why was there a five-year gap on Glyph's curriculum vitae? Eight, what connection did Chief's ex-wife have with President City? Ninth, what would happen to this country and its economy if we won? And tenth, why did she insist we conceal our relationship from the rest of the squad? One day, these questions will be answered in a splendid exegesis. I was certain that someone in LA knew the answers to all ten mysteries. Or perhaps I already knew them myself?

The Ocean

We reached the beach just in time for an exquisite ocean sunset. I shed my clothes and jumped into the ocean. It amuses me now to recall how I took my physical body for granted. Chief and Jackie were already unpacking the food bag; it was their turn to prepare dinner. Jackie used a kukri to chop tomatoes, slicing with violent intensity. Why was he always so grim when preparing Italian food? Chief was in charge of the aubergine, which he cultivated himself back in LA. When the risotto was properly al dente, Chief called the team to a makeshift dinner table. Nicole slipped out of her Karl Lagerfeld ensemble into a simple Yigal Azrouël gown. That was the last time I was with Nicole; her image lingers in my new consciousness-system

Video Gallery[]


  • Coincidentally, the number of videos comprising the mission narrative, like the countdown videos, is also a multiple of 11 (88 & 77 respectively).


External Links[]